I don't think that choosing to talk privately was the cause of the misunderstanding. I doubt very much that the conversation would have gone any better had it been in public.
From what I read, it is clear that he-who-isn't-being-named was snarky and misogynous and tangled with someone who doesn't take that crap. That can happen anywhere.
Christopher ~
Funny thing is if a man is opinionated and says what he thinks, he is viewed as courageous and strong. If a woman is opinionated and says what she thinks, she is viewed as a bitch. I am sure a lot of men (that includes this forum and other ones) do not like strong character women, they view them as annoyingly "in yo face"and wish they could only disappear. I am here to stay, wither you all want it or not. I am a mamma Lion: I am sweet and kind but I'll say what I think ~ just like Peter, I will not back down. Now, just all accept me for who I am as I have accepted all of you for who you all are. Now you can all learn to love to hate me.
The reason why I didn't take this to the open forum is because I didn't really want to deal with other people saying "Aaaaaah right... she thinks she is better than others and plan on teaching the theremin now? She just started playing 3 years ago. Teaching should be reserved for the pros, not people like her" or "She doesn't even play classical repertoire, only Enya kind of crap, that shouldn't be allowed on the theremin and not being allowed to be taught to others cause it goes against what Leon Theremin originally intended for the instrument". Now you all know why I didn't want to post my suggestion to the grand public.
Anyway, what I feel and say doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, right?
Carry on...
Amey, how could your suggestion that someone contact established theremin teachers (Thomas Grillo, Carolina Eyck, etc.) possibly have exposed you to potential abuse or ridicule from members of TW if you had posted it to the open forum?
What seems to have exposed you to abuse was NOT posting your thoughts to the open forum, but instead sending them privately to a complete stranger. You are trying to abdicate any responsibility you might have in this unfortunate business by creating an entirely fictitious scenario in your own imagination, and blaming it on everybody else.
Judging from the above post, you seem to be trying to make this into a debate about whether or not you are a good or a worthy thereminist. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. In fact, it is not about YOU at all. It is strictly about the appropriateness of taking something that began politely as a general discussion in a public forum, going into the backroom with a complete stranger, and then being outraged by what happened.
... BECAUSE I STARTED THE CONVERSATION WITH THE SUGGESTION TO TAKE LESSONS WITH ME. Then I did say that if he'd rather not, he could ask Thomas or Carolina. You should know what I said, cause you have a copy of the conversation since I sent it to you. What part of the conversation below don't you understand? I offered my help to teach him at first. That's why I didn't post that on the forum. No need to say that I am imagining things (or imply that I am some sort of a lunatic), I think you are one that also reads what he wants to read and come up with something different ~ and you are very good at it!
Start of conversation:"Hey There ~ I am Amethyste and I live in NH. I could maybe help you start your theremin journey if you want help with that. I have been playing for 3 years (links provided)... We would do this over Skype"
Why you are all getting your panties in a bunch over this?! I didn't blame everything on everybody else. I was told I could have said this or that, when others could have done the same thing.
It doesn't matter what I say, do or think ~ there will always be people out there labeling you with all sort of phychoses. It doesn't mean that I have to sit here fighting until I turn blue in the face trying to prove to them that I am not who they think I am (or vice versa).
... And that is exactly what I am going to do ~ It was very nice to get to know some of you all a little bit, but I must leave... There are amazing things awaiting on the otherside of the Internet pond. I've got to spend more time over there... I am just tired of having the feeling that I must walk on egg shells to interract with certain people on this forum. If anyone needs to reach me, you know where to find me.
Dobrou Noc, Everyone.
Bad P.P.!!!
O.K....to be absolutely honest, I didn't pay much attention to the exchange because I considered it silly.
In any case, I fail to see what difference it would have made even if you had suggested the newbie take lessons with The Man In The Moon. Where's that Mama Lion we were talking about?? Surely you're not afraid of Thierry, or the Theremin family! Besides, you know you can count on me for support, and we could have had a picnic ripping their collective cyberfaces off together.
Still, the question here is: Is it a good idea to go off-line in personal correspondence with someone no one knows and then, when things go south, angrily post that correspondence back into the public forum you didn't want to use in the first place?
Hey, Peter--
I think it depends on the particulars... I'm not in favor of making private corresponce public as a rule but for instance....
Someone posts "Looking for a thereminist for a job" and let's say I reply to the e-mail address they've left. We're off-line in personal correspondence. Now let's say I determine this person is totally full of shit. I would feel ok about alerting my fellow thereminists of that fact and not to waste their time... You disagree?
Schwim,
Under such circumstances, a simple 'heads-up' to your fellow group members would be appropriate. What might not be appropriate would be to angrily relay your own entire series of private communications and/or misunderstandings with that person onto the public forum.
Another thing about all this is that, as you may have observed, Amey's intentions can sometimes be misunderstood. She's an artist and a "free spirit", and often leaps before she looks. When she doesn't land where she thinks she's going to land, she can be really pissed off!
I may have encouraged Améthyste to just post the stuff as the unknown person was clearly a major nasty nut... So this all may be my fault. When things still seemed to be civil I posted a "why don't you suggest Skype" comment to which A let me know she'd already been down that road and the reaction was crazy... This post was public and I don't think contained any direct quotes... At my request A let me take a look and it was pretty wacko and nasty for no good reason at which point I got pretty pissed off (which I rarely do) and asked if I might put up a sentence or so showing the kind of crap this guy was saying...
Anyway, it may very well have been my meddling that resulted in this flare-up
I wish I could figure this out as it is starting to bug me? Actually I captured anyone's IP who see's the bug? I have integrity and will not reveal who is visiting. Now that is etiquette and holo you have nice grammar.
You write most eloquently when the situation requires, holophrastic. I would have guessed someone with that non de plume to be more monosyllabic. ;-)
Screaming at someone six inches from their face, in public or not, is more than threatening, it is common assault. The "sticks and stones" defence does not hold any legal weight, at least in the UK. Possibly it is different in your neck of the woods, but in the course of my employment people have been dragged off by burly policemen for such behaviour.
You contend that it is ok if you can get away with it. Also that manners are not necessary amongst equals as it is easy for you to shrug off insults. This makes you appear amoral and lacking in empathy.
Welcome to Theremin World.
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